So much for keeping up with a new year's resolution, right?! Two posts in 10 months?! What can I say but college is busy, and being a student is even busier. There's always something to do and you can never seem to find free time, because it's quickly filled with work, homework, and for me random cleaning! My dorm has gotten to be such a mess on my half, it's chaotic!
As I was reading my post from January, I can say things are better in aspects. I have a job I ABSOLUTELY love, and I wouldn't want any other job right now. I work at Family Christian, it's a christian "retail" store. We sale bibles, and books, and movies, and kids' toys, and various gift items, the amount of stuff we have is crazy! And it's legally a nonprofit so everything that's purchased goes to orphan and widow ministries, and as employees we're required (after working there a year) to go on a mission's trip to the villages and other countries in which our 'profits' help. It's so incredible hearing some of the stories of my coworkers, once recently just getting back from Haiti!
And, my roommate this year is the greatest ever! We get along so well and have so much in common! I feel like we've been friends forever yet we've only known each other since moving into the dorms! It only took my three years to get a good one... Last week was her birthday, and of course she got lucky enough to have all classes cancelled, so I did as much as I could to keep it somewhat entertaining for her :) and I guess I did a fairly decent job as she said she had a great day.
And than there's the craziness of the college student schedule... classes, work, homework, tutoring, Cru. Oh my goodness does it seem crazy or what?! I suppose it doesn't sound too exhaustive of a list, but each piece entitles a lot of effort and time. Who knew being an adult could be so stressful, right?!
Oh, but I love my crazy life. And it's a lot easier now getting through it when I have help with making my moods normal. Depression I tell yeah.
I'm so incredibly blessed in my life, and especially after this weekend spent at Fallapalooza, I can really start to count my blessings. I'll be making a separate post about that in a bit. For now, it's off to hit the books and get ready for the week! I've only collectively had 8 hours of sleep over the last two days where I normally have 8-9 a night!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Mugs n Muffins
My home church of Cornerstone has a once montly women's event called Mugs n Muffins. Here, the ladies of the church get together with their mugs from home and spend a bit of time just getting to know each other and enjoying muffins (and cheese and chocolate!) while we wait for a lady (or two) come up front and talk.
These talks are always focused around God and what He's doing, has done, taught, or is teaching us in their lives and how we can use it in our own lives.
It's truly a blessing.
Well, April's Mugs n Muffins I was asked to record as Miss Ann wasn't able to be there and really wanted to see it. The topic was Mentoring and being Mentored.
The first video covers most of the event, but unbenounced to me it stops recording after a time so I bit is missed between catching the last bit in the second video. The second video, I believe towards the end, has more of randomness that's unrelated. :)
ENJOY! And God bless you!
These talks are always focused around God and what He's doing, has done, taught, or is teaching us in their lives and how we can use it in our own lives.
It's truly a blessing.
Well, April's Mugs n Muffins I was asked to record as Miss Ann wasn't able to be there and really wanted to see it. The topic was Mentoring and being Mentored.
The first video covers most of the event, but unbenounced to me it stops recording after a time so I bit is missed between catching the last bit in the second video. The second video, I believe towards the end, has more of randomness that's unrelated. :)
ENJOY! And God bless you!
Monday, January 27, 2014
New Year, New Me
Well, here's 2014. I know it's almost the end of January, but you would not believe the craziness of this semester already! So this is how the story starts:
I started off the new year at TCX again this year, met some pretty great people, like "Onsie Boy" as he's been dubbed in my circle of friends, and relationships with my friends flourishing. And the best relationship that's had growth is my relationship with the Lord. Looking back onto 2013 I can see the change in myself. After TCX brought in the New Year, I traveled home with Mindy so she could leave from my house back to her home in SD.
Little background story, before Winter Break I had talked with one of our Cru Staff and she talked about a vision trip overseas during spring break in March. I so wanted to go, but I had to find $3,000 on top of renewing my expired passport! Talk about a leap of faith! Fast forwarding a couple of weeks; at TCX I decided I was going to commit to going on the Vision Trip no matter what it took. I already had approval from my parents so now it was a matter of finding the funds. During a main conference one of the nights I felt moved to head up to my hotel room and write out my support letter I would be sending out.
I told Heather (Cru Staff mentioned earlier) that I was going up to my room instead of doing any of the activities they had that night, and she seemed surprised. Out off all the letters I've handed out to family, friends, complete strangers, and those I somewhat knew I've received over $1,000 in support! In a little over two weeks!
On top of worrying about not making the funds for the Vision Trip, I also am out of a job this spring semester. The reason for this is depression. Yeah, depression. For the longest time I didn't even want to think it would ever effect me, I always thought, "Just because it's in the family doesn't mean I have it. I'm different."
(Interjection: If you're feeling depressed you don't always think suicidal, I was never in any way suicidal, there was just many days of feeling hopeless and having zero motivation to do anything! There was many skipped meals, days between showers, and sometimes week before studying! I promise you there is no shame in asking for help from professionals! I can promise you that medications seem scary, but I can also promise you it is SO incredibly nice waking up feeling happy and content everyday compared to not even wanting to see or talk to your best friends!)
Back to reality, last semester I really had a hard time with classes, stressing out over a roommate situation, and feeling like I wasn't doing any good for anybody. I have stress induced depression. It's not going to ever go away, bur right now, with medication I feel absolutely wonderful! I feel motivated to go to class, I feel motivated to check off items on my 'To Do' list! And the best part, when I do check off assignments it's a glorious feeling and it motivates me even more to get stuff done!
Now, I'm not saying it's solved all my problems. I still only have $3.00 in my bank account, a maxed out credit card, and trying to find time to donate plasma so I can have a little bit of extra spending cash for cereal and milk at the least! On top of relying on family (which I very much dislike doing), I've come to truly fully rely on God (F.R.O.G.) and have faith that He will provide. And He does provide, in ways you wouldn't dream of!
I know a few of you may be starting out Spring 2014 semester feeling a little overwhelmed, and for you, I just want to say find some time just to relax. And I don't mean watching TV or playing video games, I mean finding a quiet place, and if you're a believe than just take time to thank God for what you are blessed with every day, and take time to focus on the little things. It's crazy to think how multiple pair of jeans is a blessing compared to other countries where they may only have one or two outfits their entire life! Or electricity and running water! And if you're not the religious type, find some soothing music, plug in, and just think about things in your life that you may take for granted, sometimes there may be a person or two in our life we never realized how important they really are. And I guess that could go for the believers too. :)
For those that are starting out the new semester and year in a decent place, reach out to those who may need a little uplifting. A smile is sometimes the easiest and best way! Say hi to somebody new passing by! And take time to remember that there will be times when things get overwhelming but better things do and will come your way. It may not seem like it's going to be right away, but it will.
Part of my New Year's resolution is to keep updated on my blog! I say that to myself all the time! But I think I truly mean it this year! Maybe I'll even start another "more spiritual blog" for those needing some uplifting or just to know they're not alone in trials.
Have a blessed and Happy New Year and let the good times roll!
I started off the new year at TCX again this year, met some pretty great people, like "Onsie Boy" as he's been dubbed in my circle of friends, and relationships with my friends flourishing. And the best relationship that's had growth is my relationship with the Lord. Looking back onto 2013 I can see the change in myself. After TCX brought in the New Year, I traveled home with Mindy so she could leave from my house back to her home in SD.
Little background story, before Winter Break I had talked with one of our Cru Staff and she talked about a vision trip overseas during spring break in March. I so wanted to go, but I had to find $3,000 on top of renewing my expired passport! Talk about a leap of faith! Fast forwarding a couple of weeks; at TCX I decided I was going to commit to going on the Vision Trip no matter what it took. I already had approval from my parents so now it was a matter of finding the funds. During a main conference one of the nights I felt moved to head up to my hotel room and write out my support letter I would be sending out.
I told Heather (Cru Staff mentioned earlier) that I was going up to my room instead of doing any of the activities they had that night, and she seemed surprised. Out off all the letters I've handed out to family, friends, complete strangers, and those I somewhat knew I've received over $1,000 in support! In a little over two weeks!
On top of worrying about not making the funds for the Vision Trip, I also am out of a job this spring semester. The reason for this is depression. Yeah, depression. For the longest time I didn't even want to think it would ever effect me, I always thought, "Just because it's in the family doesn't mean I have it. I'm different."
(Interjection: If you're feeling depressed you don't always think suicidal, I was never in any way suicidal, there was just many days of feeling hopeless and having zero motivation to do anything! There was many skipped meals, days between showers, and sometimes week before studying! I promise you there is no shame in asking for help from professionals! I can promise you that medications seem scary, but I can also promise you it is SO incredibly nice waking up feeling happy and content everyday compared to not even wanting to see or talk to your best friends!)
Back to reality, last semester I really had a hard time with classes, stressing out over a roommate situation, and feeling like I wasn't doing any good for anybody. I have stress induced depression. It's not going to ever go away, bur right now, with medication I feel absolutely wonderful! I feel motivated to go to class, I feel motivated to check off items on my 'To Do' list! And the best part, when I do check off assignments it's a glorious feeling and it motivates me even more to get stuff done!
Now, I'm not saying it's solved all my problems. I still only have $3.00 in my bank account, a maxed out credit card, and trying to find time to donate plasma so I can have a little bit of extra spending cash for cereal and milk at the least! On top of relying on family (which I very much dislike doing), I've come to truly fully rely on God (F.R.O.G.) and have faith that He will provide. And He does provide, in ways you wouldn't dream of!
I know a few of you may be starting out Spring 2014 semester feeling a little overwhelmed, and for you, I just want to say find some time just to relax. And I don't mean watching TV or playing video games, I mean finding a quiet place, and if you're a believe than just take time to thank God for what you are blessed with every day, and take time to focus on the little things. It's crazy to think how multiple pair of jeans is a blessing compared to other countries where they may only have one or two outfits their entire life! Or electricity and running water! And if you're not the religious type, find some soothing music, plug in, and just think about things in your life that you may take for granted, sometimes there may be a person or two in our life we never realized how important they really are. And I guess that could go for the believers too. :)
For those that are starting out the new semester and year in a decent place, reach out to those who may need a little uplifting. A smile is sometimes the easiest and best way! Say hi to somebody new passing by! And take time to remember that there will be times when things get overwhelming but better things do and will come your way. It may not seem like it's going to be right away, but it will.
Part of my New Year's resolution is to keep updated on my blog! I say that to myself all the time! But I think I truly mean it this year! Maybe I'll even start another "more spiritual blog" for those needing some uplifting or just to know they're not alone in trials.
Have a blessed and Happy New Year and let the good times roll!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Coming to an end...
I hope as summer draws to an end and school starts up that everybody has made the most of it.
In my last few weeks of summer before returning to college, I'm looking back upon my summer and remembering.
Just last week I returned from the East Coast with my dad. He owns his own semi truck and was hired by a company who was hired by The Home Depot headquarters to go and make manufacturing repairs to carts. It was a two man job, hence why I went along. Horrible. I honestly, ugh, worst job I've ever had! It wasn't the actual job, it was the majority of people we had to work with, being confined in an extremely small space with two people when both of us were out in hot humid weather from morning until after the sun went down, Boston rush hour traffic absolutely SUCKED! (Thanks for the warning AFTER the fact, David...) and being dirty for two, sometimes three, days in a row. Best part of the whole trip was when we took off a Sunday and went to Hershey Chocolate World in Hershey, PA.
We ended up leaving with over $100 worth of chocolate! On top of making our own chocolate bars, packaging Hershey Kisses... Seriously, it's almost as great as Disney World! Every man, woman, child, EVERYBODY needs to go some point in their life! Unless you're allergic to chocolate, then don't, because there is so much chocolate you'd probably go into anaphylactic shock just walking in the doors.
During those two weeks, the family I babysit for actually asked me if I'd like to run a 5K mud run with them.... I'm not a runner, in any sense of the word, but guess who's doing a 5K mud run in a little over a week! I may just die... Wish me luck!
The rest of the summer I've spent babysitting the kids. I love them almost as much as I love my little sister :) The summer's also been spent getting computers fixed at MOA, unpacking just to find out we're moving again, barely a week before I have to move back into school! and conversing with my new roommate, she's an exchange student from England! :D I was so SO excited when I found that out since my great friend Jess and her sort of knew each other. I'm looking forward to meeting her on the 21st and spending time together. Sounds like we may be planning a weekend to Canada while she's here!
Oh, and the very first week of classes, I've gotta leave early so I can make it home for my dad and step mom's wedding... because that will totally look good to my new professors. Well, that's life for you I guess.
In my last few weeks of summer before returning to college, I'm looking back upon my summer and remembering.
Just last week I returned from the East Coast with my dad. He owns his own semi truck and was hired by a company who was hired by The Home Depot headquarters to go and make manufacturing repairs to carts. It was a two man job, hence why I went along. Horrible. I honestly, ugh, worst job I've ever had! It wasn't the actual job, it was the majority of people we had to work with, being confined in an extremely small space with two people when both of us were out in hot humid weather from morning until after the sun went down, Boston rush hour traffic absolutely SUCKED! (Thanks for the warning AFTER the fact, David...) and being dirty for two, sometimes three, days in a row. Best part of the whole trip was when we took off a Sunday and went to Hershey Chocolate World in Hershey, PA.
We ended up leaving with over $100 worth of chocolate! On top of making our own chocolate bars, packaging Hershey Kisses... Seriously, it's almost as great as Disney World! Every man, woman, child, EVERYBODY needs to go some point in their life! Unless you're allergic to chocolate, then don't, because there is so much chocolate you'd probably go into anaphylactic shock just walking in the doors.
During those two weeks, the family I babysit for actually asked me if I'd like to run a 5K mud run with them.... I'm not a runner, in any sense of the word, but guess who's doing a 5K mud run in a little over a week! I may just die... Wish me luck!
The rest of the summer I've spent babysitting the kids. I love them almost as much as I love my little sister :) The summer's also been spent getting computers fixed at MOA, unpacking just to find out we're moving again, barely a week before I have to move back into school! and conversing with my new roommate, she's an exchange student from England! :D I was so SO excited when I found that out since my great friend Jess and her sort of knew each other. I'm looking forward to meeting her on the 21st and spending time together. Sounds like we may be planning a weekend to Canada while she's here!
Oh, and the very first week of classes, I've gotta leave early so I can make it home for my dad and step mom's wedding... because that will totally look good to my new professors. Well, that's life for you I guess.
Life, it's what you do...
Well... life; it has it's ups, downs, side ways, and upside downs.
The hardest part is when you finally think you're coming to a smooth road in all of it and WHOOP! giant drop off. You know, it's hard getting over one dilema when another is shoved in your face.
I have a job I love, but many people are telling me it's not a good enough job, so I sit here feeling like I'm letting everybody down while all I want to do is be happy... Yeah, I may not be making as much as I would like to afford a new camera or decent running shoes to finally get into shape, but at least I'm happy.
And my friends... I don't even want to go there! I love them so much, but sometimes, more often than not, I feel like nobody cares. That nobody even remembers I'm here, like I don't matter... And it doesn't entirely help when I'm still single while my closest friends practically found "the one". Feeling left out doesn't even start to describe it some days.
A big part of my summer has been dealing with drama, which was the number one thing I did not want to worry about after my first year of college.
Just the other day I had a couple girls over, yeah it was great to see them, all of them my best friends, but for some odd reason throughout the entire summer I felt like they didn't care about me as much as I did them. Like they were reluctant to even spend time together and did it out of pity.
The other thing with that is feeling like you care more about how they're doing and trying to help them out while they don't give two cents about you. It's hard feeling like that, trust me I know.
And then, there's the family drama... On top of having limited money due to health and past financial dilemmas, it's just complete chaos with the attitudes of two teens, step parent, and a stressed out parent. And it's even harder when you're a 17 hour drive on the east coast working when your little sister calls about a giant fight ensuing and there's absolutely nothing I can do to help.
I know, trust me, how hard it can seem at times. How the whole world is falling down, like nothing is going right. And it is at those moments, especially when I have no person I feel I can turn to, I turn to God.
A bible verse came to me once, Job 5:18 "For he wounds but he also binds up; he injures but his hands also heal." and that to me is the basis of why I know I can rely on God when the going gets tough.
And if you're not too keen on the bible verses, a band by the name of Switchfoot, they have a song, a song I absolutely LOVE called The Shadow Proves The Sunshine. The essence of this song is the fact that, like on sunny days, there will be shadows from clouds, proving the sun is shining, so when you're in a shadow of bad times, know they sun is shining down on you waiting to embrace you in it's rays of warmth.
The hardest part is when you finally think you're coming to a smooth road in all of it and WHOOP! giant drop off. You know, it's hard getting over one dilema when another is shoved in your face.
I have a job I love, but many people are telling me it's not a good enough job, so I sit here feeling like I'm letting everybody down while all I want to do is be happy... Yeah, I may not be making as much as I would like to afford a new camera or decent running shoes to finally get into shape, but at least I'm happy.
And my friends... I don't even want to go there! I love them so much, but sometimes, more often than not, I feel like nobody cares. That nobody even remembers I'm here, like I don't matter... And it doesn't entirely help when I'm still single while my closest friends practically found "the one". Feeling left out doesn't even start to describe it some days.
A big part of my summer has been dealing with drama, which was the number one thing I did not want to worry about after my first year of college.
Just the other day I had a couple girls over, yeah it was great to see them, all of them my best friends, but for some odd reason throughout the entire summer I felt like they didn't care about me as much as I did them. Like they were reluctant to even spend time together and did it out of pity.
The other thing with that is feeling like you care more about how they're doing and trying to help them out while they don't give two cents about you. It's hard feeling like that, trust me I know.
And then, there's the family drama... On top of having limited money due to health and past financial dilemmas, it's just complete chaos with the attitudes of two teens, step parent, and a stressed out parent. And it's even harder when you're a 17 hour drive on the east coast working when your little sister calls about a giant fight ensuing and there's absolutely nothing I can do to help.
I know, trust me, how hard it can seem at times. How the whole world is falling down, like nothing is going right. And it is at those moments, especially when I have no person I feel I can turn to, I turn to God.
A bible verse came to me once, Job 5:18 "For he wounds but he also binds up; he injures but his hands also heal." and that to me is the basis of why I know I can rely on God when the going gets tough.
And if you're not too keen on the bible verses, a band by the name of Switchfoot, they have a song, a song I absolutely LOVE called The Shadow Proves The Sunshine. The essence of this song is the fact that, like on sunny days, there will be shadows from clouds, proving the sun is shining, so when you're in a shadow of bad times, know they sun is shining down on you waiting to embrace you in it's rays of warmth.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Summer Excitment!
HERE IT IS! Summer 2013!
Agenda for the summer? Monday through Friday I babysit an adorable three-almost-four-year-old girl, some days I will have her older brother and sister too, but it should be quite the adventure. My first day on the job was Wednesday this last week so I've worked a whole three days. And let me tell you, she's such a cutie! She can have a bit of an attitude sometimes, but what kids don't these days? :)
Next weekend I'm actually going back to MOA with the Brownie girls I helped lead (and some of the Juniors) for Sleep with the Sharks. Along with that, I will be going to MOA with my mamma and hopefully get my iTunes and iPhone fixed. Stupid technology.
The weekend after that I'll be camping with my dad, step-mom, little sister, and her two friends. It should be quite the adventure... There's so many of us and so much camping stuff we're going to have to take two cars!
I hopefully plan to have many a bonfire and girls nights with my girls :) I love my friends so much and I miss them dearly.
I also have to get my door replaced and my car finished fixed from my car accident back in October. I'm so thankful for my dad fixing it donuts driveable. I didn't realize how much I missed my car until it was gone for so long.
Outwit, Outlast, Outplay... SURVIVOR! (of my first year of college)
Well... here I am, blogging... first time since March.
This first year of college certainly was an adventure, but I survived (barely). I may not have had the great weekends of fun that everybody else seemed to have, or met the Prince of my dreams and fallen madly in love, oooor made friends that are forever, I somehow managed homesickness, depression, high stress levels, and lonliness.
In all honesty I pretty much slid under the radar for my first year of college. I wish I hadn't sometimes, I think that if I hadn't been so... so... boring I might have actually made some great friends that aren't an ocean away (miss you Jess!), found a boy, and had fun with people other than my family.
The other hardship I survived was not being on academic probation! End of first semester I ended up on Academic Warning because my GPA was horrid so I basically had to meet with an academic counselor and talk about how to study better and manage my time better and blah, blah, blah... you know. At the start of second semester I aimed to get at least all B's. When finals came around I studied to the best of my ability, knew I could've done better still, and felt confident.
Less than a week later when I got my final grades I had a D in Quant Bio. I called my mom and BAWLED, to the point she thought one of my rats died. I was so afraid I was going to end up on Academic Probation, lose my job in the Cancer Research Lab, and fail out of school for a semester. I felt like my life was going to be over.
But, in the end, I'm not on Academic Probation, I wish I did things differently, and I have the future to look forward to.
So basically, for future college students or anybody struggling with anything right now just remember this: work as hard as you can now, and if you know you could probably be working harder than do it! You may have the future to work on things but it's easier to maintain a higher GPA than to raise it end of your sophomore or beginning of your junior year before graduating.
And have fun but stay responsible! If you know you probably shouldn't stay out too late on a weekend, don't. I'm sure many friends you meet will be more impressed with somebody who can say no to partying when they need to say yes to studying and actually excel in school. Don't worry about partying, worry about grades because the parties can come after you graduate top of your college class.
This first year of college certainly was an adventure, but I survived (barely). I may not have had the great weekends of fun that everybody else seemed to have, or met the Prince of my dreams and fallen madly in love, oooor made friends that are forever, I somehow managed homesickness, depression, high stress levels, and lonliness.
In all honesty I pretty much slid under the radar for my first year of college. I wish I hadn't sometimes, I think that if I hadn't been so... so... boring I might have actually made some great friends that aren't an ocean away (miss you Jess!), found a boy, and had fun with people other than my family.
The other hardship I survived was not being on academic probation! End of first semester I ended up on Academic Warning because my GPA was horrid so I basically had to meet with an academic counselor and talk about how to study better and manage my time better and blah, blah, blah... you know. At the start of second semester I aimed to get at least all B's. When finals came around I studied to the best of my ability, knew I could've done better still, and felt confident.
Less than a week later when I got my final grades I had a D in Quant Bio. I called my mom and BAWLED, to the point she thought one of my rats died. I was so afraid I was going to end up on Academic Probation, lose my job in the Cancer Research Lab, and fail out of school for a semester. I felt like my life was going to be over.
But, in the end, I'm not on Academic Probation, I wish I did things differently, and I have the future to look forward to.
So basically, for future college students or anybody struggling with anything right now just remember this: work as hard as you can now, and if you know you could probably be working harder than do it! You may have the future to work on things but it's easier to maintain a higher GPA than to raise it end of your sophomore or beginning of your junior year before graduating.
And have fun but stay responsible! If you know you probably shouldn't stay out too late on a weekend, don't. I'm sure many friends you meet will be more impressed with somebody who can say no to partying when they need to say yes to studying and actually excel in school. Don't worry about partying, worry about grades because the parties can come after you graduate top of your college class.
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