Well... life; it has it's ups, downs, side ways, and upside downs.
The hardest part is when you finally think you're coming to a smooth road in all of it and WHOOP! giant drop off. You know, it's hard getting over one dilema when another is shoved in your face.
I have a job I love, but many people are telling me it's not a good enough job, so I sit here feeling like I'm letting everybody down while all I want to do is be happy... Yeah, I may not be making as much as I would like to afford a new camera or decent running shoes to finally get into shape, but at least I'm happy.
And my friends... I don't even want to go there! I love them so much, but sometimes, more often than not, I feel like nobody cares. That nobody even remembers I'm here, like I don't matter... And it doesn't entirely help when I'm still single while my closest friends practically found "the one". Feeling left out doesn't even start to describe it some days.
A big part of my summer has been dealing with drama, which was the number one thing I did not want to worry about after my first year of college.
Just the other day I had a couple girls over, yeah it was great to see them, all of them my best friends, but for some odd reason throughout the entire summer I felt like they didn't care about me as much as I did them. Like they were reluctant to even spend time together and did it out of pity.
The other thing with that is feeling like you care more about how they're doing and trying to help them out while they don't give two cents about you. It's hard feeling like that, trust me I know.
And then, there's the family drama... On top of having limited money due to health and past financial dilemmas, it's just complete chaos with the attitudes of two teens, step parent, and a stressed out parent. And it's even harder when you're a 17 hour drive on the east coast working when your little sister calls about a giant fight ensuing and there's absolutely nothing I can do to help.
I know, trust me, how hard it can seem at times. How the whole world is falling down, like nothing is going right. And it is at those moments, especially when I have no person I feel I can turn to, I turn to God.
A bible verse came to me once, Job 5:18 "For he wounds but he also binds up; he injures but his hands also heal." and that to me is the basis of why I know I can rely on God when the going gets tough.
And if you're not too keen on the bible verses, a band by the name of Switchfoot, they have a song, a song I absolutely LOVE called The Shadow Proves The Sunshine. The essence of this song is the fact that, like on sunny days, there will be shadows from clouds, proving the sun is shining, so when you're in a shadow of bad times, know they sun is shining down on you waiting to embrace you in it's rays of warmth.
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