Monday, January 27, 2014

New Year, New Me

Well, here's 2014. I know it's almost the end of January, but you would not believe the craziness of this semester already! So this is how the story starts:

I started off the new year at TCX again this year, met some pretty great people, like "Onsie Boy" as he's been dubbed in my circle of friends, and relationships with my friends flourishing. And the best relationship that's had growth is my relationship with the Lord. Looking back onto 2013 I can see the change in myself. After TCX brought in the New Year, I traveled home with Mindy so she could leave from my house back to her home in SD.

Little background story, before Winter Break I had talked with one of our Cru Staff and she talked about a vision trip overseas during spring break in March. I so wanted to go, but I had to find $3,000 on top of renewing my expired passport! Talk about a leap of faith! Fast forwarding a couple of weeks; at TCX I decided I was going to commit to going on the Vision Trip no matter what it took. I already had approval from my parents so now it was a matter of finding the funds. During a main conference one of the nights I felt moved to head up to my hotel room and write out my support letter I would be sending out.

I told Heather (Cru Staff mentioned earlier) that I was going up to my room instead of doing any of the activities they had that night, and she seemed surprised. Out off all the letters I've handed out to family, friends, complete strangers, and those I somewhat knew I've received over $1,000 in support! In a little over two weeks!

On top of worrying about not making the funds for the Vision Trip, I also am out of a job this spring semester. The reason for this is depression. Yeah, depression. For the longest time I didn't even want to think it would ever effect me, I always thought, "Just because it's in the family doesn't mean I have it. I'm different."

(Interjection: If you're feeling depressed you don't always think suicidal, I was never in any way suicidal, there was just many days of feeling hopeless and having zero motivation to do anything! There was many skipped meals, days between showers, and sometimes week before studying! I promise you there is no shame in asking for help from professionals! I can promise you that medications seem scary, but I can also promise you it is SO incredibly nice waking up feeling happy and content everyday compared to not even wanting to see or talk to your best friends!)

Back to reality, last semester I really had a hard time with classes, stressing out over a roommate situation, and feeling like I wasn't doing any good for anybody. I have stress induced depression. It's not going to ever go away, bur right now, with medication I feel absolutely wonderful! I feel motivated to go to class, I feel motivated to check off items on my 'To Do' list! And the best part, when I do check off assignments it's a glorious feeling and it motivates me even more to get stuff done!

Now, I'm not saying it's solved all my problems. I still only have $3.00 in my bank account, a maxed out credit card, and trying to find time to donate plasma so I can have a little bit of extra spending cash for cereal and milk at the least! On top of relying on family (which I very much dislike doing), I've come to truly fully rely on God (F.R.O.G.) and have faith that He will provide. And He does provide, in ways you wouldn't dream of!

I know a few of you may be starting out Spring 2014 semester feeling a little overwhelmed, and for you, I just want to say find some time just to relax. And I don't mean watching TV or playing video games, I mean finding a quiet place, and if you're a believe than just take time to thank God for what you are blessed with every day, and take time to focus on the little things. It's crazy to think how multiple pair of jeans is a blessing compared to other countries where they may only have one or two outfits their entire life! Or electricity and running water! And if you're not the religious type, find some soothing music, plug in, and just think about things in your life that you may take for granted, sometimes there may be a person or two in our life we never realized how important they really are. And I guess that could go for the believers too. :)

For those that are starting out the new semester and year in a decent place, reach out to those who may need a little uplifting. A smile is sometimes the easiest and best way! Say hi to somebody new passing by! And take time to remember that there will be times when things get overwhelming but better things do and will come your way. It may not seem like it's going to be right away, but it will.

Part of my New Year's resolution is to keep updated on my blog! I say that to myself all the time! But I think I truly mean it this year! Maybe I'll even start another "more spiritual blog" for those needing some uplifting or just to know they're not alone in trials.

Have a blessed and Happy New Year and let the good times roll!